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AITAH for deciding to cut my stepmum out of my life after how she treated us following our baby’s death?
Personal Stories

AITAH for deciding to cut my stepmum out of my life after how she treated us following our baby’s death?

I have always had a rocky relationship with my dad and his wife - my stepmother. If she decides you’re her best friend, you can go from spending every weekend together to not speaking for months and being badmouthed. She has a reputation for being cold, calculating, and, at times, downright vindictive. Other family members refuse to be in her company due to similar experiences. We’ve excused her behaviour in the past, saying she’s misunderstood, but from the outside, it’s clear that’s just who she is. In May 2024, my wife and I lost our daughter. She was stillborn, and it has been the most excruciating time of our lives. Two days later, my dad and stepmum came to visit. They didn’t bring flowers or a card (apparently, they “didn’t have time”), which I could forgive. But when I offered water and juice, she scoffed, asked if that’s all we had, and requested a glass, ice, and "something stronger"—as if it were a party. I went along with it to keep the peace, but the resentment built. She said all the wrong things to grieving parents, like “At least you can get pregnant” and “It’s just something you’ll have to get on with.” My dad, usually silent, was visibly embarrassed. We had shown more sorrow for her dead dog than she did for our daughter. We had a phone call later, where she seemed to want to make amends—until she blamed my wife and me for the awkwardness and demanded we take responsibility (for what, I have no idea). She ended by saying she was “giving us space” but would always be there for us. That was the last we heard from her. She never reached out for our daughter’s funeral, my birthday, Father’s Day, her due date, Christmas, or New Year. She ignored our second pregnancy announcement and didn’t attend the charity walk we did in our daughter’s memory, where the rest of the family showed support. My wife hasn’t reached out as she’s beyond hurt and is now navigating a high-risk pregnancy. The last straw was when she posted on Facebook at New Year, saying 2024 was the best year of her life—the same year she lost what was supposed to be her first granddaughter. Now, with eight weeks until our second daughter arrives, the thought of her pretending everything is fine, holding our baby, makes us feel sick. I don’t want her in my life anymore. She has shown zero respect for my wife or daughter, and I refuse to let her overshadow what should be a joyful time. AITAH for cutting her out?

Anya Petrova
AITA for refusing to leave the room so someone could tell a story?
Personal Stories

AITA for refusing to leave the room so someone could tell a story?

My MIL was born in Iran and her family had to flee during the late revolution in the late nineteen seventies. She has always made it clear that she doesn’t like me and that she doesn’t approve of her son marrying a white woman. Interestingly enough her other son did not marry a Persian but MIL decided Filipino was close enough and treats SIL much better. BIL and SIL have a 15 year old and 13 year old. Last night we had family dinner and SIL said the 15 year old had been wanting to ask MIL something and she explained that she wants to learn more about her culture and she is interested in her life in Iran and the revolution. MIL looked right at me and said she wasn’t telling the story with me there. I refused to leave on principle and clearly everyone at the table was annoyed with me. My husband told his mom she was being rude and she got emotional and said it’s a very painful story, and hard to tell, and I don’t get to know it. I still refused to leave and after dinner she took SIL and her two granddaughter in her bedroom and I’m assuming she told them because when they call me out the two girls had tears in their eyes. I told my husband that was so rude and exclusionary that I don’t even want to go back but everyone else in the family thinks I was rude and dramatic.

Elise Dubois
AITAH For Refusing To Give My Ex “Full Access” To My Life Just Because We Co-Parent?
Relationships

AITAH For Refusing To Give My Ex “Full Access” To My Life Just Because We Co-Parent?

I (25F) have a six-month-old baby with my ex (24M), and we’ve been trying to co-parent since we split a few months ago but now he’s saying I’m being an “Asshole” for not telling him everything I do when the baby isn’t even with me. We were together from high school (2015) up until recently. Our breakup happened shortly after I gave birth, when I found out he had been cheating with multiple women. His excuse? That I wasn’t being “sexual enough” postpartum and he had a “high libido.” Yeah… that was enough for me to walk away. Since then, I’ve been rebuilding my life. I got more involved in my church, formed new friendships, and started feeling like myself again for the first time in a while. I’ve also done everything I can to keep things calm and respectful for the sake of our baby. But now, he’s making it an issue that I don’t share details about my personal life with him. He says I should be more “transparent” and that it’s important for co-parenting. He wants to know who I’m hanging out with, what I’m doing, who my new friends are, even if I’m just out while he has the baby. His reasoning? He tells me about what he’s doing, so I should do the same. But here’s the thing: I’ve never asked him for any of that information. He voluntarily tells me, “I’m about to hang out with this girl,” or “I’ve been seeing someone new” even when our child is not in his care at the time. It’s his personal time, and I’ve told him I don’t need or want those updates. Yet now he’s acting like because he shares that info with me, I owe him the same level of openness, even though I’ve never requested it and it’s unrelated to our child. He’s also been following some of my new friends on social media and asking me questions about them. My account is private, so I don’t know how he’s even finding them. I suspect he’s using a burner account or he’s viewing my church’s page who posts pictures of me and the people I hang out with. I had to ask them to stop posting me for a while because he was using those posts to find my friends and follow them. He’s never reached out to any of them, but the whole thing feels really creepy and invasive. It’s crossing a boundary for me. I’ve talked to some friends about this, and their opinions are mixed. Some say he has a point — that we should be transparent with each other since we share a child. Others think he’s overstepping and that this isn’t part of normal co-parenting, especially since our child hasn’t met any of these people and I’m not dating anyone right now. Even my mom is siding with him. She’s liked him since we were together in high school, and anytime we argued, she tended to take his side and ask what I did wrong. Now she’s saying I should be open about who I’m hanging out with, for the sake of peace. I’m not trying to be shady or difficult. I believe in healthy boundaries. If someone’s going to be around my child, I’ll share that. But just living my life and seeing friends when my baby isn’t with me? I don’t think I owe him a play-by-play.

Anya Petrova
AITA for telling my mother to stop telling people the story behind my name?
Family

AITA for telling my mother to stop telling people the story behind my name?

Mobile so sorry for formatting I (15M) and my mother (39F) have similar names due to my mother naming me after her. I don't dislike my name at all. But the story behind it and how my mother constantly wants to tell it to the world is the problem. For backstory, I am her second child and for her first child, my older brother (20M) she wanted to know his gender, and she found out and named him. For me however, she decided to keep it a surprise, however, she for some reason was confident that I would be female and was dead set on naming me after her. Her name is Alexandra, so she would have named me Alexandra as well (fake names) When I came out male, she simply named me Alexander (fake name) However she would constantly tell everyone she befriended, if we were together, the story on how I was named. It embarrasses me to no end and I've told her over and over to please not tell that to every new friend her or I make. She even told all of my friends parents the story despite me asking her to not tell them (she wants to meet my friends parents for the first time if I want to sleep over for whatever reason) This all boiled down to Thursday when my mother and I went to the grocery store and as we were leaving a duo of Charity workers came up to us to ask us if we were willing to donate to their cause. My mother being the social butterfly she, sparked up a conversation with them. As the two introduced themselves to us, my mother followed suit and, of course, told them the story I dreaded she would "My name is Alexandra and this is my son Alexander, he was supposed to be a girl and take my name. But he came out a boy so I named him after me" I got a bit angry and told her "I really wish you wouldn't tell every stranger you meet on the street that, it makes me feel embarrassed and mad" It got silent and my mothers face twisted and just told the Charity workers that she'll donate next time and started walking to the car. The car ride home was silent and when we got home she told me that I really embarrassed her back at the store and that I should have told her something after we got in the car that I didn't like her telling that story. I've said to her that I've told her repeatedly that I don't like her telling everyone with a pulse that she befriends that story and that I got fed up with her blatantly ignoring me and my request to stop. She just told me to go to my room and to not come out. She of course told everyone in my family what I did and my stepdad and grandparents said I shouldn't have embarrassed her like that and to apologize to her. My brother and best friend told me I was right to call her out since I've told her many times to stop embarrassing me with that story and that she needed to learn what I felt. I do feel bad and want to apologize and talk to her, but at the same time I still feel like I'm right and that she needed to feel what I feel. So AITA?

Clara Jensen
AITA for breaking up with my ex by getting married to the love of my life.
Relationships

AITA for breaking up with my ex by getting married to the love of my life.

I am 29(F) and I met my ex at work, we’ll call him Brad. He was my boss’s brother and he was helping me with my project- I was hired to be the project manager for a new vertical of their business. We spent 2 months literally joined at the hip doing everything together, talking and catching up on coffees between vendor runs. I started falling for him and he for me. Cut to the launch of the project 7 weeks later, he and I are constantly talking and the evening before the launch he tells me that he’s married with a kid and he loves me as he has never met anyone like me. I reluctantly go with him for a coffee to hear him out where he tells me how he was pressured into marrying her and they had a kid as he was sick on a deathbed and how he never loved her and they barely shared a loved bond. We started secretly meeting and going on dates as no one at work or around us could know about our affair. We did this for 3 months, and every time we would go out, he would make me buy him gifts and pay for our dates saying he didn’t have money or had a family to support.

Jonas Bergström
AITA for being angry about my parents and grandparents keeping a secret and hiding a part of our family history from me?
Family

AITA for being angry about my parents and grandparents keeping a secret and hiding a part of our family history from me?

My grandfather (my mom's dad) passed away recently. After he died my grandmother decided to move into a seniors community. She was moving from a house to a one bedroom flat so there was lots of items she didn't need. The house was pretty full and lived in because she and my grandfather lived in it for like 50 years. When we were going through the attic we found boxes and boxes of old pictures. My grandmother wanted to go through them. In some there were pictures of my mom when she was little and there was a baby in them or a kid younger then her. I asked her who it was because she doesn't have a sister, and she doesn't have any aunts and uncles so no cousins either. My dad said my mom had a younger sister but she died from cot death and to not say anything to my grandmother because it would upset her to talk about especially so close after my grandfather's death. At the time what my parents told me made sense. After that I helped to move the furniture to her new flat or to sort what she was not keeping. I honestly forgot about the pictures. The next month I found one of my dad with a woman in a bridal grown. It wasn't my mom and I could not figure out why my mom's parent's would have a photograph of my dad at a wedding not to their daughter. My mom was there when I found it and she couldn't explain it then. The next day my grandmother told me the truth when I confronted her. My mom had a sister. She was married to my dad. My dad played away with my mom, who was his wife's sister and I was born from the affair. My dad divorced my mom's sister to be with my mom. My mom's sister went away somewhere else because my grandmother and grandfather wouldn't condemn the divorce and they are estranged and not in contact now for almost 30 years. My dad's parents also knew all of this and didn't tell me. My mom and dad never bothered to get married after his eventual divorce from my mom's sister. I'm angry that the only family members I have, my parents and both sets of grandparents have kept this from me. I would never have known if I didn't accidentally see those pictures. My grandmother had thought they got rid of all the photographs of my mom's sister. My parents and my other grandparents have admitted this too and told me the same thing as my grandmother. My parents tell me it is none of my concern since it happened before I was born and doesn't affect me. I disagree such a big secret should have been kept from me plus I don't agree with the behaviour of anyone involved in this. Do you believe I'm right to be angry or are my parents and grandparents correct and I'm in error?

Jonas Bergström
AITA for being mad at my parents because they withheld information about my medical history from me?
Personal Stories

AITA for being mad at my parents because they withheld information about my medical history from me?

I have had nose and sinus issues my entire life. I could never breathe out my nose to the point where not only my smell and taste were almost non existent but i could only mouth breathe. I also had snot 24/7. Sometimes it was like a leaky tap where it would not stop. I went through so much clothes and bedding because of getting snot all over everything and my clothes too. I got made fun of a lot at school and it used to make my teachers angry. I was so self conscious and didn't have any friends. My parents always said there was no cure or anything when they took me to the doctor. At the beginning this year I moved for a job. (I grew up in Nevada and the job was in Louisiana). I got here a few weeks before my start date to get set up. This is where it started. Within days of moving here I could breathe out my nose. No more snot and I can smell and taste. It freaked me out at first because this had never been possible in my life. I'm not a mouth breather anymore and my sleep is not disturbed now. One of the good things about my job besides the pay is that it comes with insurance. I got a checkup at the dentist, the eye doctor and the doctor for the first time since I was 12. I had these when I was a kid but when I was about 12 my dad got a new job but the insurance was not good. We only went to the doctor or dentist for major things like a broken bone. I was still on my dad's insurance before I got my job. My new doctor asked for my medical records if I had them. My first doctor was gone but the building is still there and they had mine from a long time ago. There wasn't much from the second. This is where I found out my parents lied to me. In my old records it says a bunch of times the dry air hurts my sinuses. The doctor says a less dry climate would relieve them but besides that there is medication and a humidifer would help. It says so over and over. They never told the second doctor this information either. I asked my parents about it. They were angry I got the medical records because they said it was private. My mom said they didn't try medication because it was too much of a hassle to remember to give me the pills. My dad said moving was out of the question since it would remove my sister from her friends and a humidifier was too much work for mom. I'm not so self centered I think they should have moved but if I had this info when I was older I could have been responsible for my own medication and I would have moved from Nevada when I was 18 if I knew it would help. My parents must have told my sister everything because she blew up my phone with calls and messages saying I shouldn't have snooped in the medical records and mom and dad were right to tell me there was no cure because the medication and other stuff was too much to put on their plate. Aita for being furious about this? If I knew I could taken steps to fix this when I was d enough. I'm also perturbed they think me not being able to breathe properly was no big deal.

Elise Dubois
AITA: my boyfriend read my diary without consent and got angry about past lover in there
Relationships

AITA: my boyfriend read my diary without consent and got angry about past lover in there

My boyfriend (21m) and I (21f) were studying in the library with our friends when he asked to use my computer for homework. I agreed since I wasn’t using it at the time and was chatting with our friends. After about 20 minutes I noticed his mood go extremely sour, and I tried to get him to look at me to figure out what was happening but he wasn’t having any of it. I just stayed talking to our friends to prevent it from getting awkward. He completely shut down. After we were done and left the library, I asked what was wrong. He told me he found a diary entry in my computer and read through it. That diary entry was from about a year before this, and I hadn’t met my current boyfriend yet. I had just had the best summer of my life, working at my dream summer job. So I decided to write about it to remember it. In this diary entry, I wrote about fun experiences, meeting new friends, and a fling I had that summer. It was short, and there wasn’t much to write, but I did put in some details about sex. And about how much I had liked him. My boyfriend was very upset at me after he read my diary, stating that I shouldn’t have kept that stuff. He believes I look at that diary entry all the time and relive the sexual experiences in it. I was very mortified to hear this because I felt I was the one who should be upset by that intrusion of privacy. And to be honest, I forgot about the diary entry and never opened it again after I wrote it. But he doesn’t believe me. I feel very heartbroken and betrayed and embarrassed. He feels jealous and disgusted I would keep such a thing. We’re both angry at each other and we haven’t come to any agreement in arguments. AITA for feeling like I did nothing wrong and I’m allowed to be upset that he read my diary without my consent?

Jonas Bergström
Personal Stories

AITA for not letting my mom control my life?

Hello everyone, I don't really know where to begin... I have been dating my fiancé for 4 years and have been living together. We are very happy and we can't wait to get married in August. My mother, however, doesn't want me to get married, at all. She wants me to get back with my ex, who turned out to be an addict, which was very hard for me and I did not have the capacity to deal with those struggles in my young life. She knows about this, and even encouraged me to break up with him. She has been protesting against our relationship from literally day 1, because he is Muslim. She has called him all sorts of serious insults, bizarre disturbing accusations (the worst you can come up with) and more, before he could introduce himself. My soon to be husband has been nothing but respectful, kind, patient and loving towards me. All my friends and colleagues love him, he sends me every 2 weeks flowers, showers me with love and gives me peace. So I haven't thought nor ...𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. 💫

Anya Petrova
AITA for refusing to change my life just because my dad got remarried and his wife wants us all to act like a family?
Family

AITA for refusing to change my life just because my dad got remarried and his wife wants us all to act like a family?

My mom died when | (17m) was a baby and my dad didn't step up so my maternal grandparents did. They helped take care of me for dad and when | started school I'd go to their house until 7 or 8pm those days. The older | got the more time | spent with them. | technically lived with my dad but he wasn't a very good dad and he didn't ever try to be one. Without my grandparents I'm not sure where | would have been. Probably neglected and taken into foster care if my dad was the only person in my life. His family aren't the best so | never spent much time with them. | still spend any free time I'm not hanging with friends, with my grandparents. | go to their house every day. I'll eat dinner with them and lunch and dinner on weekends if I'm not busy. | spend holidays with them and sometimes | just spend the night there. We talked about me moving all my stuff over but on a weird chance dad would be thinking they could try for child support, we didn't want to rock the boat. My dad started dating something 3 or 4 years ago. | don't pay that much attention. She moved in with him in May and they got married in September. She has kids. | don't know the first thing about her or her kids. But she's attempted to spend time with me and she's attempted to invite me in. | told her | was good and didn't want to get involved. ...𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻.. ⬇️

Jonas Bergström
AITA for telling my best friend that she isn't the biggest priority in my life anymore?
Personal Stories

AITA for telling my best friend that she isn't the biggest priority in my life anymore?

My best friend (L) and I (both 22f) have been best friends since we were about 3. We have a large friendship group with 10 other girls. L has always been a massive part of my life. Her mother died during childbirth and her dad has struggled with alcoholism pretty much her entire life, so my parents always did their best to remove her from that situation as much as possible and we were practically inseparable as kids. L has always had pretty bad attachment issues, and really struggles to form connections with anybody outside our childhood friendship group. She has however been in a relationship for about a year and doing really well. This has never had a major impact on my life until this past year. In June of last year, I bought a dog with my boyfriend and obviously many adjustments came with this. I couldn’t spend as much time as usual with her or the rest of my friends but this had little impact on our ...𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. 🍿

Anya Petrova
AITAH for telling my sister it isn't my fault , that i planned my life and she didn't
Family

AITAH for telling my sister it isn't my fault , that i planned my life and she didn't

I am 30f and recently gave birth to my son. My husband 30m and I met in college, dated and got into same job field at age of 22. We got married at 25 and decided to wait for kid. As we loved to party and travelling. We bought our house, travelled internationally and finally now focused on building our family. As we want our baby to have a stable family life and no more late night outs. No regrets, we lived our 20s fully. My sister 38f ran away with a jobless man 40m, when she was 21. My parents weren't in favour of this relationship, as he was known drunkyard. But she didn't listen. She left her MBA mid way and got married. Had her daughter at 22. She lives with my parents, as her in laws kicked her out with her husband, just six months into the marriage, as both were lazy and contributed nothing to family. She has exploited my parents to core, but my parents refused to change and i can help the blind, till a limit. They won't accept, but they have soft corner for her. As they lost their first child, whe he was two months old and she was the precious child afterwards. I have already told parents to give my house share to niece in their will, 16 f, who is good at studies, a sensitive kid. I don't need the house. My parents have good pensions and i have saving account for niece too. My sister and her husband barely lives cheque to cheque. She has decent job, but she has multiple expenses, like going to parlour once a week and her useless husband wastes, all of his money on drinks. My niece isn't close to her parents, as they didn't raise her at all. Just appearances. They openly cheat on each, but refuse to divorce, as they know they can't get better. Recently, she kept making bitter remarks on my perfect life, how my husband do lots of pda ( he is too romantic openly which makes me blush and embarassed ). How I post my duplex house pics on insta. That I am gonna spoil my son. I had enough and told her, it was my life choices and she made her own life choices. Told her, her daughter dislikes her, because she is failure of a mother, failure of a sister and daughter. I told her and her husband, how they caused loss of near 100k usd to parents. Because they took money from loan sharks. And my parents had to sell land to save them I told her to stop being jealous and focus on being better. She is near 40 and still acts like she is in college. She started screming and crying. I left. Now my parents messaged me to be not harsh on her, as she keeps screaming at them. I told them, it was their decision to house her and they have to develop spine. Although I understand their country dependency on her as they are aging. But I have given them option to live with me as they age. My sister made a social media post, that some women become airhead and arrogant when they have some money. I wasn't boasting about this at all

Elise Dubois
AITAH for resenting my wife for not believing my side of story
Relationships

AITAH for resenting my wife for not believing my side of story

I (M, 46) have been married to my wife, Heather (F, 45), for 18 years. We have two kids (16F and 14M). We work for the same company but in different departments. She works on a different floor of our building. We recently hired a new employee, Sarah (F, 30). I helped her a lot with her training and even prepared a guide for her so she could catch up on the new role quickly. I told her she could drop by anytime if she had a question. She kept coming to my desk to chitchat. Even my coworker, Chris, who shares an office with me, noticed. I thought she was new and lonely, so not a big deal. She asked me to go out for lunch with her. I laughed and joked, asking if Chris wanted to join us for lunch. Then Sarah looked at me and said no, she meant just us to talk, plus she wanted to buy me lunch because I had been so nice to her. Chris gave me a look. I told her she didn’t have to and that I was just doing my job. She insisted, and I agreed. During lunch, she started rubbing my hand. I moved my hand and changed the topic to my wife, bringing her up repeatedly. She eventually said she found me attractive and wanted to be more than friends, suggesting we start with friends with benefits and see where it goes. She said she thought I wasn't happy in my marriage because I was having lunch with her and laughing, while she never saw me having lunch with my wife. I told her I was married and wanted to keep our friendship professional. She didn’t like my reply and became quiet. I apologized, but she said it was all good. I paid the bill for both of us since it was so awkward, and we went back to work. I received a letter from HR telling me they needed to talk to me because Sarah filed a complaint. She said I had asked her out for lunch, been inappropriate and handsy, and even pressured her to have sex with me, but she left. I was floored. Luckily, my coworker Chris can confirm my side of the story. I immediately told my wife the whole thing, and she got furious at me. She said she believed Sarah's side because she stands by the victim. I told her Sarah was lying! Chris can confirm she invited me! Also, I wasn’t inappropriate; I didn’t touch her and turned her down. My wife rolled her eyes and said Sarah is a gorgeous woman much younger than me, implying I took advantage of her. I was so annoyed! I have always been faithful to her. How could she possibly think of me like this? Luckily, the HR issue was resolved, and I just have to do some training. I asked to move to another team so I won’t be working with Sarah anymore. Am I the asshole for resenting my wife for not believing my side? For taking her side without any proof? I basically barely talked to my wife since the incident.

Anya Petrova
AITA for replying to my co-worker's "compliments" with a negative story?
Personal Stories

AITA for replying to my co-worker's "compliments" with a negative story?

Throwaway etc. First post was deleted b/c character count. Lately I (29F) lost some weight, and I am slowly exchanging my wardrobe for better-fitting pieces. I work in a small office. For work I like to dress nicely and business appropriate. There is no specific dresscode, I just try to look good in my (new) day-to-day wear. I have a colleague, Cheryl. She is in her 50s and we generally get along well. The annoying thing, however, is her habit of commenting on my wardrobe a lot, especially since I have started to change my style. They're not necessarily unkind comments, sometimes it's just along the lines of "Oh, cute dress! Where from?" but sometimes her comments feel... backhanded? IE one day she looked at my striped shirt and said: "Cute shirt, but only people with thin waists can pull off that pattern." The other day she said about my scarf: "I don't really like the color on you. You usually have such good taste." I have asked her in private to stop commenting because I feel scrutinized. She said she would, but soon enough it started again. I have tried to ignore it, but no avail. I have thanked her and smiled, but I found myself dreading going to work in the morning because I *knew* that she'd comment on something again. Now where I might be the asshole. The other day I was watching a documentary about classical conditioning and behavior, and I came up with the idea that if Cheryl subconsciously linked her behavior to a negative “experience”/story, maybe she would then stop? So the next morning, Cheryl made a comment about my black dress. Cheryl:"All in black today? It makes you look so gloom." Me: "Yeah, I know. I bought this dress for my grandfather's funeral but I think I can also wear it for work." The next week I had on a new-ish pair of shoes. Cheryl: "Ohhh, new shoes! You really have a lot of shoes!" Me: "Actually I bought them last year to cheer myself up after I had to put my cat down." The next time she made a comment on my shirt and that the color didn't suit me. I replied (not verbatim): "Yeah my sister made it for me. I would not buy from [fast fashion retailer], not after that garment factory collapsed in Bangladesh some years ago. Over a 1000 people died!" Ever since then I have told a sad story every time my wardrobe came up (think operations, break ups). None of these stories are made up btw, they're just not happy chit chat. I feel that ever since I started my little experiment, her comments have died down. The other day though another co-worker told me that Cheryl complained about "someone in the office being a downer and not being able to accept a genuine opinion." Now I feel like an asshole and for not just sucking it up, because actually Cheryl has been very helpful ever since I started working there. It's just her comments that drive me up the wall. AITA for replying to my co-worker's "compliments" with a negative story? (edit: missing word)

Elise Dubois
AITA for getting mad when I saw "Hidden Spy Camera" in my boyfriend's search history
Relationships

AITA for getting mad when I saw "Hidden Spy Camera" in my boyfriend's search history

Sorry for formatting, I'm writing this on mobile. I've been dating a guy for a few months now. He is kind, caring and funny. A little eccentric but nothing about him has ever seemed "off". The other day, we were talking about something we wanted to buy together, so he opened up his phone to the AliExpress app and when he clicked the search bar I saw the search history had multiple variations of "Hidden spy camera" "secret camera" "WiFi camera". When I saw this I wanted to double check, so I took his phone and typed the first few letters into the search bar and sure enough the variations dropped down from the search bar in bold. At first he pretended to not know what I was talking about. Then he said "it came up as a suggestion because you typed the first few letters in." I was calm but kept telling him no, that's not true. Then he told me him and his friend had been talking about how she recently stayed at a hotel where she suspected there was hidden cameras, so they decided to research them together to see what they look like. This also sounded like bullshit to me, and at this point I was kind of freaking out. I've never seen him so annoyed before but he was in disbelief that I thought he'd really be the kind of person to buy hidden cameras. He said "Ok then, I will call my friend right now and she will tell you it's true" and I stayed silent, then he said "search my whole room, there's no cameras" Then he texted his friend to prove to me the conversation they had was real. The texts said something like "hey remember when we were researching spy cams together, well my partner saw and they think I have hidden cameras. Can you reply so I can prove we talked about them together and that I don't have any cameras" he said he feels embarrassed he had to send a text like that to his friend. I feel like him texting his friend kind of proves his story, because otherwise he'd be outing himself as a total creep to her too, and I feel bad for jumping to a conclusion and accusing him. It's been a few days and I think I believe him, but things are still kind of tense between us, I don't think he forgives me. AITA for jumping to that conclusion or is it a rational reaction?

Clara Jensen
AITA for keeping it real and telling my friends that they don’t fit into my life anymore?
Personal Stories

AITA for keeping it real and telling my friends that they don’t fit into my life anymore?

Ok so I have a group of friends who I love dearly but I am not the same person I was when we all met. I have wanted to change so many things in my life and I couldn’t because I was and am an alcoholic... this group of friends is nothing but drinking. I can’t do it anymore I need to change my destiny, my legacy. I’ve tried to tell them numerous times but they always pressure me with the “one last time” thing and I was weak and always went for it. A few weeks ago it was my birthday, my 29th birthday. They all ganged up and me and convinced me to go out drinking. Well stay home and drink. So I decided to do it and it was a mistake. The entire time I was regretting the decision and as I got drunker and drunker I got sadder that I was doing it. A few days ago I sent a group text to all my friend and basically told them that I’ve tried to get sober for years and it’s incredibly hard and as friends I would have thought they’d be happy for me and supportive but instead they do the opposite and pressure me to drink. they know drinking gets in the way of my plans for my life but it seems they don’t care. Anyways I told them that I am moving forward with my life and as of now I don’t see any of them in my future. I’ve gotten calls and texts but have ignored them all. I feel better I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but at the same time I can’t help but feel like I was kind of a dick.. and I the wrong one here?

Elise Dubois
AITA (46F) for cutting my son with a brain tumor (25M) out of my life?
Personal Stories

AITA (46F) for cutting my son with a brain tumor (25M) out of my life?

Three years ago, my son was diagnosed with a Grade 2 astrocytoma, a slow-growing brain tumor that can’t be cured. Doctors said he probably won’t live past his 30s. Since then, life has been a nightmare. He dropped out of college and moved back in with us and fell into a deep depression. We tried everything to help him: therapy, support, just being there but nothing helped. He stopped going to appointments, stopped caring, barely left his room. Then, about a year ago, he suddenly seemed better. He got a job at a gas station, got a girlfriend and moved in with her.. But then he stopped returning our calls. We didn’t know what was going on until my husband went to his job and was told he’d been fired months earlier for being high at work. We were shocked. He’d never touched drugs before. My husband went to his girlfriend’s place. Our son answered the door clearly high, smelling of booze. We found out he’d been using fentanyl. His girlfriend was pregnant, also using. He had been stealing to support their habit. We begged him to get help. He shut us out. We cried more than I thought was possible. About six months ago, he OD’d and almost died. He was hospitalized for three days. He promised to get clean, moved back home, started rehab. We were so relieved. it didn’t last long. Two weeks later we caught him trying to steal money from our home safe. He swore he wasn’t using again, just broke. I was so heartbroken I gave him a little money anyway, I couldn’t stand to see him suffering. He kept asking for more. It became obvious he was using again. We confronted him, and he left. Moved in with new “friends.” Yesterday we got a call from jail. He’d been caught trying to steal a car. I completely broke down and am utterly broken and filled with grief. My daughter is depressed. My husband cries every time I mention our son’s name. I had to quit my job as I couldn’t function anymore. Maybe the tumor is affecting his brain and behavior. Maybe it’s the drugs. But I can’t do it anymore. And I hate myself for saying this, but sometimes I wish he were just… gone. The guilt of even thinking that is unbearable. But I’m at my limit. I told him not to contact us anymore. That it was better if he didn’t. And yet, I lie awake every night wondering if I’ve failed him completely. I don’t even know what I’m asking by writing this. Maybe I just needed to write it all out and share it with strangers. AITA?

Jonas Bergström
AITA for refusing to give up my life insurance payout and asking my ex’s family to refinance the car he left me?
Family

AITA for refusing to give up my life insurance payout and asking my ex’s family to refinance the car he left me?

So my ex passed away recently in a work-related accident. It’s sad, of course. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. But the truth is, we hadn’t been together in over a year when it happened. We were together for five years, and we broke up because he cheated on me and got someone else pregnant. That breakup wrecked me. It took me a long time to recover. I haven’t seen him since. After the breakup, I went no contact. I’ve spent the past year healing, learning to be happy again, and moving on. I didn’t go to the funeral. I didn’t want to see the baby mama or his family. And while I’m not happy he’s gone, I can’t say I’m devastated anymore either. I grieved this person when I left the relationship. Now here’s where things get complicated. Six months after our breakup, and after the baby was born, he took out a life insurance policy. In it, he named me as the 50% beneficiary. His mom and the baby mama each got 25%. I didn’t know this until the insurance company called me. I assumed it was some paperwork leftover from when we were together. But nope this was a new policy, dated well after the breakup. That means this was his decision. At the same time, there’s a car. He financed it while we were still together, but it’s under my name and credit. I begged him for over a year to refinance it, to the point the only reason I ever contacted him was for the refinancing of that car. He never refinanced that car, I doubt he was ever going to. Now that he’s gone, it’s still tied to me. The car is sitting in my garage, and his family has reached out saying the baby mama needs it for work. I told them, fine. You can have it as soon as it’s refinanced and no longer on my credit. I will GLADLY sign whatever paper they need. But I am not going to risk my credit on people I don’t trust to make payments. And now they’re demanding that I give up the life insurance payout too. That I should “do the right thing” and give it to his mom or the baby mama. But here’s the thing, I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask to be put on that policy. He made that choice, after everything that happened between us. Honestly? I feel like I earned that money. I spent five years with that man. Five years dealing with the stress, the gaslighting, the emotional pain, the betrayal. I loved him deeply and I lost so much trying to make that relationship work. I stayed with him until I found out his baby mama was pregnant, because he was actively hiding it from me at that time. I was with him through the worst parts of his life. If anything, this money feels like the only thing I ever got back from all the bullshit. He chose to leave it to me. Probably because deep down, he knew how badly he treated me.

Anya Petrova